Breaking hearts like the west was won
Fuck that list
1. List 20 random facts about yourself
1. My middle name is Nicole
2. I used to be a competitive diver, and swimmer, but always loved diving more.
3. I’m into gemstones, crystals, minerals
4. I was raised catholic, or christian, i don’t really know the difference…but am not religious whatsoever, I don’t believe in the common idea of “God”. I am spiritual in a completely different way, but not religious.
5. I have always wanted to be a florist and own a shop..being surrounded by flowers all day long..I can deal with that.
6. I love motorcycles.
7. In the even that I do get married, I want my wedding song to be the same as my parents- Eric Claptons “You Look Wonderful Tonight”
8. I enjoy weeding and gardening
9. Jigsaw puzzles are my shit
10. I am an aspiring Master Herbalist, perhaps Aromatherapy after that
11. Steampunk intrigues me
12. My mom is 100% Italian, I have no idea what my dad was so I just go with italian myself.
13. I’ve climbed several 14ers, and wish I took advantage of my time in Colorado and climbed some more.
14. Even though I moved back to Jersey 9 months ago, I still don’t feel at home anywhere on the east coast
15. I’m a healer
16. I love margaritas, on the rocks, with salt.
17. I am bisexual
18. I’m trying not to straighten my hair everyday anymore, so it grows
19. I love classic rock way more than anything that has come out since
20. I adore the lessons nature teaches, if only you take the time to hear it out.
The List
I’m terrible at sticking with these lists things, but haven’t tried it in a while anyway. Perhaps following through and completing this will give me some good perspective on my shit, gotta get it together sometime soon. SO, starting today..one number every day…or as often as I get to it..and looking at the list, looks like there will be a couple really hard ones for me to do, looking forward to it…
1. List 20 random facts about yourself
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears
3. Describe your relationship with your parents
4. List 10 thing you would tell your 16 year old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you the most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have
14. Describe 5 strengths you have
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most with you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could I’ve anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs your family dynamic now
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has the most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for
Need to remind myself of this every two seconds, because I’m giving up in my mind over and over and over again. Colorado take me back.
so much of the world is broken and I want to be part of its healing.
Who am I kidding, I’m miserable.
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2011/12/slow-down-my-beaten-heart/
“I’d like to have time to kneel and smell the flowers, get pollen all over my face and have bees chase me around for being nosy. I’d like to remember the smell of an early morning; get up with the sun and be the first Eve who ever walked on Earth, naked. Does anybody know what dew is? I’d like to be a cat when I stretch, feel my cells multiply as I reach the other side of a yawn; decaffeinate my heartbeats, green up my tea. I’d like to reach a higher scale in my shower symphony, compose an opera piece on the spot and splash the bathroom walls with notes. Wash all my sins away with organic soap. I’d like to sit still until all fear starves itself and silence is ok; breathe deeply in some universal chest like a healthy organ. And then be born and curious about the world again, pointing at things with chubby fingers, because they are so fresh and new, they haven’t been named yet. I’d like to answer all my phone calls and mean the how-are-yous and not save my honesty until all thegood-byes have been sentenced over my wireless head. I’d like to be a friend of insects and men. Not be afraid of mirrors. Not even scream at spiders. I’d like to yogalize my poses, buddhalize my prayers, jesusize my love and hindulize my smile. I’d like to whisper to only a few people under a blanket instead of shouting at hundreds over the internet rooftops. I’d like to put a heart in every word even if it ends up so beaten that I run out of all my seven lives before my grave is finished. I’d like to love you out loud, not only in the dark cave of my mind, with bats hanging out of my eyes, in the opposite direction. I’d like to speak in complete sentences, instead of SMSing E-people with LOL-lives always in !!!!! demand for + Facebook #Likes. I’d like to kiss with my lips instead of XO with my keyboard. I’d like to love my neighbor even when his f***ing TV drives me so f***ing crazy I could reach across the f***ing wall and pull out the morning-show f**ks through the TV screen and get them another f***ing job that doesn’t degrade humanity. I’d like to be 100% recyclable, untraceable, not remembered, only perceived, non-violent, transparent, like water; donate all my organs, leave only footsteps on a beach, not carbon footprints on my future children’s faces. I’d like to take naps, lots of naps, preferably in a swing or by a fireplace, preferably in the sun, with a dog drooling over my feet; and never have to hear the sound of another alarm clock again. I’d like to write letters – at least once a month, with real ink on thick, recycled paper, and seal them with my ring on candle wax; send them away with a carrier pigeon and then wait patiently for the answer, looking down from a castle window. Not type up anxious atoms on a screen, click, double-click to open, close and open, close again, why-won’t-you-charge, brainless, annoying piece of s**t? I’d like to have some faith, just any faith that I can walk on water and not drown; and even if I didn’t have that faith, jump off the boat with no lifesaver, anyway; especially during Shark Week. I’d like to hear some real birds chirp over my shoulder, not blue, dead birds tweet hashtags with my fingers. I’d like to finish all the books I start. Review the universal story through every pair of glasses. And after all is said and done, be even more certain that I know nothing yet. I’d like to love and lose and love again, and lose and love and lose again, because what else is there to do. I’d like to get up once a week with no other agenda than laziness in bed, just touching feet and feet, and eating breakfast for dinner, off a blanket. And stay alive like that in bed. 24 hours. I’d like to sit with old people and understand why they’re not in a hurry, rest for a few minutes at the shade of their deep and heavy, bulldog wrinkles; and listen to the stories they tell from when the world didn’t use to end. I’d like to flush my Blackberry down the toilet and make it seem like an accident. I’d like to believe that we’re not just numbers plus minutes plus blood, but human issues glued together and dangerously alive; and like all great short stories, we sound familiar, but haven’t really happened any place or time before. I’d like to have kids so they can remind me of all the things I used to know when I arrived into the world. And when my kids forget, I’d like grandchildren. I’d like to be more than a word, a sentence or a paragraph. I’d like to be an entire chapter, or better yet, a novel. Be written in detail. Survive the darkness. Rephrase the light. I’d like to think with no thoughts that the heart is its own country, in which I am allowed without a passport, or any kind of name. And write with no fingers on that flickering life that passes as we write, incessantly, about how life is passing through our fingers.” 
